Living The Single Life:Is Being Alone Really That Bad?

Maybe I am just lucky but I've had two kicks at the cat and it looks like this one's gonna stick. I often wonder, is living the single life as you get older that bad?

I have no regrets from my first marriage. It lasted 16 years and bore me 2 great kids. It wasn’t a bad break-up, we were young and drifted apart. I have a lot of great memories.

When it ended, I swore I would never do it again. I liked my freedom and discovering myself. It is a total shock to me that I did take the plunge a second time.

Yes, I am lucky to have found love twice. But what if I didn’t? Would I still be searching for someone to grow old with? Would I hate being alone? Would I sacrifice myself in exchange for a warm body to lay beside me at night?

I am told I don’t understand from my single friends because I have somebody. True but I like to think I wouldn’t settle either. I listen and watch as strong, independent women fall into relationships with total losers. Yes, selfish, inconsiderate, Peter Pan, card carrying, losers.

Why? I don’t get it. Because then you are not alone? So you can say you have someone? Really?
Heaven forbid I actually say something.

Maybe I am just lucky but I've had two kicks at the cat and it looks like this one's gonna stick. I often wonder, is living the single life as you get older that bad?

I’m amazed that women over 50 can create the same drama a 21 year old can when starting a new relationship. You would think that older and wiser would make the approach different but it doesn’t.

You would think that their standards later in life would have raised the bar but I’ve seen it drop so far down that a five year old would have trouble to limbo under it.

And the absolute worst part is watching these single women overlook so many incompatible, annoying traits in their new loves only to be dropped like a hot potato when the “man” finds one flaw in the woman they don’t like.

There are good men out there. I promise there are but if you keep jumping on the first and easiest Dick that crosses your path, you may miss him.

Relax, it will happen. And if not, statistically speaking women outlive men so I will be alone in my old age too and we can shack up like the Golden Girls. I like to think I would be Blanche but chances are my sarcasm puts me closer to Dorothy.

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  1. I am 64 and have been single for a year. I have discovered just how strong I am, and that there are so many things I enjoy. I do not feel I am lonely at all. I have an active busy life, and I am retired. So, the time is wonderful. I have a bucket list to attend to, people to love, and I am getting so much done. I am enjoying my life!

  2. I was lucky enough to find love twice too, and am so glad I did because I’m not a woman who would do well alone… having said that, I could never settle for the sake of settling either, I guess if I could do that I’d have stayed married to the first hubby.

    1. Well good for you! You were probably afraid of being alone after your first break-up but you balanced that against settling and knew that you would be better off. Thank you for dropping by lovely!

  3. Interesting reading these perspectives. Speaking as a single woman who has never married, no, it isn’t so bad being on one’s own.
    Being single and being alone are to very different things. It is very empowering to know you can be independent and thrive. I know I can buy a house on my own. I know I can travel solo and be a better person for it. This does not mean I wouldn’t love to have someone to share these experiences with… just that I don’t HAVE TO have someone.
    I am not opposed to marriage. Should the right fella show up on my doorstep tomorrow, I would definitely open the door. I love myself enough to do it for the right person but not to settle for less than someone I deserve. Some people are blessed enough to find that person early in life. For some people it takes a little longer.
    Everyone’s path is different and that’s okay!

    1. I am so glad you feel that way Leah! I have many single friends, never married, and they are by far the most confident women I know. Maybe it is an age thing. I’m not sure.

  4. Being a man I shouldn’t really be reading this, and I certainly shouldn’t be liking it, but what the heck, I need plenty of background info to help me deal with the women in my life!

  5. I have more than one failed marriage behind me. I made a conscious decision that I am happiest when I am single. The truth is that I don’t “do” relationships, at least, not well. I’m unwilling to open myself up to vulnerability, to allow others in that far – and that leads to relationship failure for me. I will never understand why all my friends seem so determined that I find a partner. Heck, I found several in the past, and you know what? I was not happy. Yes, that unhappiness was due (largely?) to my own inability to let others in, but so what? 😉

    1. Exactly! So what! It is merely by chance that I met my second husband. I would have been perfectly content staying single. I already had been married and had kids so I was in the “been there, done that” phase of my life. You stay true to yourself and if someone comes along, great but if not, you know you are absolutely happy with who you are. Thank you so much for reading, commenting and sharing!

      1. Same here – I was married for 15 years with 3 children. When we split it was like a great burden had lifted off my shoulders. I was quite content living a single life, I had my children, friends & family. For about a year at parties and local functions I used to chat to a lovely bloke who was very sexy in my eyes and had a lovely sense of humour and intelligence too and one day, out of the blue, he asked me out on a date. 12years later – we’ve been married for 10 years, have 2 boys of our own and I still love him to bits!

  6. We Overfifties can learn. and a few bad experiences can be a great teacher. Even a great teacher, however, can’t teach if we don’t listen. We have to be still. We have to listen. Being dropped when the man finds a flaw has never been my problem. I’ve found men, but dropped them when I could no longer live with the fact that they repeatedly and dearly missed the mark on providing the most basic relationship expectations. Women being dropped so quickly is the result of men over 50 using dating websites like that white bag you carry around a taffy store, putting in a few of this flavor and a few of that flavor and a few of something else, to take home to try. They can afford the risk of cheating because few women know how to catch them, and because they can always move un, unscathed. Even the nicest man who seems to understand you and is introducing you to family, may be dating behind your back on the off chance he can find someone even better. This is now a common mindset. And it’s why I stopped dating. That, and to clear my head, and my heart. I feel better without a man in my life, because they all created drama and thus distractions that took me away from the more important things in my life that I needed to be focused on. This is perspective that comes from taking time to be still, to breathe, and to look back. I may date again one day. Or not. Either way, I have no emotional or romantic need, anymore, because that was an illusion and I’m a realist.

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