Don’t Make These 5 Midlife Crisis Mistakes

Are you going thru a midlife crisis? Don't let it be a disaster. Avoid these symptoms and you can look forward to happily entering your middle age.

I began to feel the symptoms of  a midlife crisis about 2 years ago at the age of 48. My children were entering their late teens and didn’t need or want me to micro manage their lives anymore. My body was going through changes, mainly slowing down. And though I was usually an optimistic person, I couldn’t shake the over whelming feeling of “is that all there is?”.

At the time, I was working for a large, international, retail company in management. I enjoyed my job and I was paid well but I no longer felt challenged and I wanted, needed a change. The down swing in the economy made it a very bad time for me to secure a promotion. The company was eliminating jobs left and right. They knew my skills and wanted to keep me but at that moment, they could not offer me anything.

I was angry. I was feeling unappreciated. I was tired of working my ass off while others took the credit. And just like that, I put in my two weeks’ notice.

My husband was shocked to say the least, but supportive. Things would be different. We would both have to make drastic lifestyle changes so I could go “find myself”.

Looking back, I wish I had made a plan but I didn’t. That was so not me. I don’t jump with both feet till I know exactly where I’m going to land. I was a woman having a mid life crisis.

If you find yourself in a slump, unhappy and re-evaluating your life now that you have reached middle age, here are a few suggestions of what not to do.

Are you going thru a midlife crisis? Don't let it be a disaster. Avoid these symptoms and you can look forward to happily entering your middle age.

Midlife Crisis Mistakes

1. Never make life altering changes when you are in crisis

I know you want to make a change right now but when you are in the midst of a midlife crisis, you are not thinking clearly. At middle age, major decisions can have lasting consequences. Leaving a job, changing your marital status or making  large purchases may seem like the answer at the time. Keep in mind that you don’t have the same bounce back you did when you were 20. You may not find another job. You may realize that you want to go back to your ex but they have moved on. You may have to work till you’re 70 to pay for that new house. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do those things if you are unhappy. Just don’t do them suddenly. Think, a lot.

2. Do not make lots of changes all at once

Have you ever listened to some people’s new years resolutions and thought “Good luck with all that”? “I’m going to quit smoking, work out everyday and completely change my eating habits”. You know that they are doomed from the get go because they want to tackle too much. They would be much more successful and happier if they took one step at a time. Point taken?

3. Do not jump in without doing your research

Your dream may be to become a professional photographer or live in a foreign country. That’s great and maybe achievable but how about you buy a camera first and take a few classes. Or maybe you should visit that country a few times before moving your whole life. All the information you need is at your fingertips on the internet. Use it!

4. Do not ignore feedback

Always discuss the changes you want to make with someone who you knows you well and will give you honest feedback. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in wanting change that we grasp on to any dream. Your friend might remind you that you bought a camera once and got bored with it fast or maybe they will remind you that you get homesick when you go away. It is better to burst the bubble of a false dream so that you can go find your true calling.

5. Don’t let anyone stop you

If you know what you want/need to change, really thought about it, done the research and made a plan, don’t let nay-sayers stop you from moving forward. You’re middle-aged, for Pete’s sake. You’re running out of time! 😉

Have you considered a midlife mentor?

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  1. This is the most depressing, holding back, settle because you’re ‘mid-life’ nuts article that I have ever read. I know that mid-life could bring about a mind that is dead set on change, because I am mid-life. I think about changing every aspect of my life everyday. But I also know some changes are based on temporary emotions. I don’t think of myself as an older women who may want her ex back, or too old to find a new job, or too scared to move out of this great place called America. I see myself and many other women in their late 40’s as women of wisdom, courage and self deserving of the best things this life has to offer. Many women of my age have faced more challenges throughout their lives, such as divorce, custody battles, having to care of elderly parents, losing a job, losing a home and even losing a child. The last thing they, we, need to hear is the ‘you may not…’ I believe this is one of the biggest mistakes that is pushed on society today, the ‘let’s keep fear alive’ strategy is on every corner and I refuse to buy it. I think you we’re fed up which led you to finally go for the life you deserve when you put in your notice, because if not, you’ll still be there. No one puts a two weeks notice in on happiness.
    As strange as it sounds, the only way anyone can live their dream…is if they are willing to wake up.

  2. I’m beginning to get the message. Okay, I’m slow that way. Put it down to post-mid-life crisis. 🙂 You are not literally writing these posts on a daily basis. Hey! Am I relieved? I thought living with batman had given you some sort of super powers! You are SO right that we shouldn’t make huge changes during a time of crisis. Thanks for a good message.

  3. Hi Elena! This is all very practical advice for all of us at any age but I definitely agree they make sense at midlife. The more aware we can be at any age the better but hopefully as we get older (and more mature) we can discover we can handle a crisis better than we could guess. Thanks for the great advice! ~Kathy

  4. Great advice. My household is about to change radically as 3 of my children leave for university. I have already had various radical thoughts but thankfully I have a husband who refuses to let us move to Cyprus! Lol!

  5. I’ve been making these mistakes over and over pretty much all my life and I’ve just turned 43. Thought the past few years have gotten better and that came with getting my psych issues properly diagnosed and treated. I have bipolar disorder and ocd.

    1. I can totally understand that. My husband has bipolar. Now that you are taking care of those issues, it will be easier to handle other things. Don’t be hard on yourself, everyone makes mistakes. I wish you the best!

  6. My better half and myself are adapting to the latest change in our lives, kids at university, all of a sudden having to talk to each other 😉 my business taking off and bigger and better than ever, it is difficult but communication can overcome most barriers, the tips above are the bottom line for anyone going through a difficult period

  7. Life-changing change simply ‘happens’ because you are at crisis point. The two things go together like the Vegemite and celery sandwich I’m going to eat for lunch. If our life ran smoothly at all times, we would settle into a rut and never branch out in our life or our thinking. I think you did the right thing.

    1. Thank you! Sometimes life just thrusts change at you and you quickly adapt and do things that you would otherwise never do. Sometimes over thinking prevents you from doing anything. I agree with you. P.S. I’m sorry I didn’t respond sooner, I just found all of your comments in my spam folder. I don’t know why.

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