Ageing Gracefully Is An Oxy-Moron

Whoever said that getting old is not for sissies is right. I am convinced now more than ever that ageing gracefully does not happen naturally, unless you are George Clooney. Personally, I think he made a deal with the devil.

If you think it’s hard looking good with smooth skin, luscious hair and firm body, try it when you hit middle age and everything starts going south of the border. It’s actually cruel what peri/post menopause does to women. Like we haven’t suffered enough with the 30+ years of periods.

The other day, I’m driving along and sipping on a cold drink when I inadvertently spill some liquid on my face. I rub it off with my hand. Horrified, I feel something that can only be best described as a tree stump growing out of the side of my face! I check the mirror and sure enough, I have a thick, Grizzly Adams hair just outside the corner of my mouth. How frickin’ long has that been there? You think I would have noticed that when I put on my make-up this morning. Oh God! Has anyone else seen it? Did this thing grow like bamboo over night?

Growing old is not for sissies. Everyday reveals a fresh horror of reaching middle age. That is not ageing gracefully.

You know it’s bad enough that I have had to shave/pluck/wax a good 50% of my body my entire life but ever since I have reached middle age, hair is sprouting up all over the place and that percentage is growing. Come on now, mother nature are you kidding me? Even my spa is now packaging its waxing prices as bikini/leg for me.

Having a very open and honest relationship with my husband, he would have surely pointed it out right away if he had seen it. Especially since I have been pointing out eyebrow, ear and nose hair on him pretty regularly lately. Seemed like fun at the time. Now, not so much. I just can’t give him any ammunition like this.

And thank you to all who did not tell me while I was out running errands all day. Is this the new “There’s brocoli in your teeth” or “You have a run in your pantyhose” moment for me? Is this going to be one of those things where I am totally horrified if someone points it out but alternatively pissed when I discover it at the end of the day and no one said anything?

Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin.

elena signature

p.s. Check out the other surprise perimenopause symtoms.

 

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56 thoughts on “Ageing Gracefully Is An Oxy-Moron

  1. I sooo relate to this. It happened to me at the age of 73, That single hair can be TOUGH. It took ages to remove it with tweezers because it was so short and invisible with the normal eye. But you can feel it. Mother Nature–why do you torment women this way>

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  2. No shit Sherlock. It sucks. Sorry to drop all the expletives but you inspired me. Just yesterday I was dealing with something that, as a hairy Persian, is new: a bald spot. It’s on my scalp and is the result of an ingrown hair that exploded. That was a result of an allergic reaction to hair dye. UGH. New day. New humiliation.

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  3. #midlifeluv. The advantage of getting old (and especially hanging out with others in the same age bracket) is that eyesight also gets worse, so I’m sure no one else saw this hair either!! As a dentist, I was privy to these funny growths due to the fabulous lighting and magnification I sported…I would always ask female patients if they would like me to pluck their stray hair!! jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

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  4. Elena- I would have told you the stinkin’ hair was there, as I’ve definitely had more than a few of those myself. Thanks for you candid take on the strays! coming to you from the #MidLifeLuv

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  5. Women just can’t catch a break in life, can we? Thanks for the candid humor! Found you through the #MidLifeLuv Linky Party πŸ™‚

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  6. This is sooo funny! I’m so glad I have a daughter…she pointed out my first chin hair. Yiikes! I was horrified. Men don’t seem to pay attention to that stuff, I’ve noticed. Thank god…’cause I’m sure I’ve missed a few for days on end.

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  7. This is still making me smile. But you know what – ‘old men’ don’t get off without suffering – they end up with enthusiastic hair growing out their noses and ears. Yuk – get rid of it! It’s nature’s way of making sure our attention only goes on Johnny Depp and his kind πŸ˜‰

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  8. Elena, that is so stinkin’ funny and sadly true! I hated to laugh at your plight but the photo just made me laugh out loud! I have tweezers and several 5-10x magnifying mirrors available so I can see the stupid things with my middle aged eyes! Hilarious post! Glad to find a link up with like-minded blogs!!

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    1. Everyone keeps commenting about those mirrors. I’m going to have to go get one! Thanks for stopping by and I look forward to reading your posts!

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  9. I have a deal with all of my friends that they must tell me whenever they see a hair on my face. And I am definitely hiring someone to come by once a day when I’m in assisted living to take a look. By the way, I’ve kept tweezers in my car for years πŸ™‚

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    1. I was thinking the exact same thing! Scary to even think about! Again, another person with tweezers. Even the word makes me cringe! Lol Thanks for stopping by!

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  10. I find little daggers of hair almost every night, too. The problem is, there is no magnifying mirror strong enough to see the little suckers! Aging may be a privilege but it also sucks sometimes.

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  11. I happen to call those hairs that pop up on the chin, weeds, and I garden every so often. I seem to only get this one little weed, at the same spot, which of course…you have to pull those weeds! My hair also looks more blonde (from a distance), but, I’m a true redhead! The white has taken over. My grandson asked me the other day what was my real color of hair because he couldn’t see why people called me Little Red (my father was called red), if I didn’t have red hair. Oh, and I get from those sweet little babies, you’re not crinkly wrinkly old Grammie, it’s just you have old crinkle eyes when you laugh! Does anyone want to buy some grandchildren? πŸ™‚

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  12. Hi Elena! Okay chin hair is definitely on the “-” side of the equation. But remember when we were young and had to watch out/wake up with zits on our face. Just a different way of looking at it. But the GOOD NEWS is that most people our age can’t see up close anyway so they can’t see the hairs either. Because my husband needs reading glasses he tells me I look younger than he ever remember–not a line on my face ha! Of course it is obvious that I ALWAYS look on the bright side πŸ™‚ ~Kathy

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    1. My husband needs reading glasses too which probably explains why he didn’t notice. Looking on the bright side is a gift Kathy! Thank you for reading!

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  13. The last time I went to have my eyebrows threaded the woman in front of me in the queue had her whole face done (even her nose!). Obviously I watched in horror (completely unable to look away)…With “this is probably my future” running through my head.

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  14. I hair you, I mean hear you…guess this gives new meaning to the expression, not a hair out of place. Sigh. The joys of aging.
    I’ll share this so you can at least get some #MidLifeLuv and #bloglove – you and poor little hair. πŸ˜‰

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  15. Not just Lol but seriously, Ha Ha Ha Ha! I have this belief that once we get past child-bearing cabability, nature wants to make us as unappealing to men as possible so they don’t waste their precious seeds on us by mistake. What better way than to give us beards! You HAVE to laugh because the alternative is misery – and that’s not a sensible option. Thanks for this. Oh and by the way, I can relate too – no shame in shaving! Who wants a freakin’ hairy face except a werewolf!

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    1. I can just imagine if I did have any male readers, they are now gone! Definately natural selection at play. Thank you for not making me feel alone. Finger hovered over publish on this one!

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  16. Oh God, Hate to admit this, but I relate to this… relate, relate relate o_O … I’m wondering how long it will be before hubs and I are sharing the shaving mirror lol

    No wait, there’s no lol… this isn’t funny, not funny at all.

    You are though ;o) x

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    1. Thank you for admitting that. How very brave of you! I just recently discovered that hubby is subscribed to my blog. I have to figure out a way to delete email for this post.

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