How To Change Your Internal Dialogue & Find True Happiness

Change your internal dialogue with these simple 5 steps and find your true happiness in midlife.
Change your internal dialogue with these simple 5 steps and find your true happiness in midlife. #inspiration #selfimprovement

Entering midlife is hard enough with all the physical changes going on in your body.  But external changes can be even more devastating. A sudden or planned change in employment, marital status from divorce or loss and financial insecurity can thrust you back in time to how you felt when you were twenty. You feel scared and unsure about what the future holds. All of these life changes can wreak havoc on your internal dialogue.

I am the last of my friends to crest fifty. I really have no choice but to accept and embrace it. Everyone has already ‘been there’, ‘done that’ and are far into the ‘get over it’ mentality. It doesn’t stop us from complaining about it when we get together. We jest about midlife and reminisce about days gone by. But for some of my friends, it goes well beyond that.

Some women just get stuck, mired in their thoughts of what once was and how life for them is now. Their internal dialogue keeps telling them that the best is behind them. I have to admit some of them have had major set backs in their lives. It’s difficult to move past what has happened and move forward. While I think in general they are ok entering their second half of life, many are held back from truly experiencing the happiness and contentment they have earned.

I recognize that the solution is not so simple for everyone. If you feel it is all your head, maybe all you need to do is change your mindset.

Change your internal dialogue with these simple 5 steps and find your true happiness in midlife.


Change Your Internal Dialogue


  1. Let go of the past. Accept the life you have today.
  2. Love yourself for who you are now.
  3. Surround yourself with people who are positive and encourage you.
  4. Make lists. Make plans. Set goals.
  5. Treat yourself as well as you treat your friends.


While I do believe in positive affirmations, actions will go a long way to reinforce them.


What good is it to say “I love myself, I’m beautiful”, if you never go to get your hair done or buy a new kick ass outfit that boosts your confidence?


What good is it to say “I will be financially secure”, and never set up a savings account or retirement fund.


What good is it to say “I don’t need a man”, and then never take yourself out on a date, go out with friends, go on vacation alone or buy yourself something special like jewelery?


If you want to change your internal dialogue, change how you treat yourself. You do deserve better. Demand better from yourself.

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  1. I love this! And so true – the positive words need to lead to positive actions or you remain truly stuck. There are a couple of places where I can definite apply this to my own life.

  2. I definitely need to sit down and write out my goals. Life has sucked a bit lately and I need to stop whining internally and do something to make a change. Thanks for the great reminder, Elena.

  3. Inner dialogue is so crucial. There’s no point in whining about what you haven’t done. Celebrate what you have done and get out there to make the changes you want!!

    1. Oops sorry Jennifer! You are consistently showing up in my spam I don’t know why. I totally agree. This is a whine free zone. Ok, maybe not wine.

    1. I agree but that’s a tough one. Sometimes not a choice we can make, especially when they are family. I combat that but limiting time and learning to steer conversation to light topics. Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Another massive change that happens to many of us in our fifties is that one or both of our parents dies. For some of us that means confronting our own mortality for the first time, which doesn’t have to be as negative as it sounds, as it can give you the impetus to make other changes. When you realise that life’s too short to… or not to… you’re a bit more free than you used to be.

  5. Hi Elena – I SO agree with actions needing to go with affirmations. I am so tired of hearing people spout off about stuff but never doing anything to change their habits. I’m making a mental note to myself to not fall into that trap. It was a great reminder 🙂 ~ Leanne

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