Entering midlife is hard enough with all the physical changes going on in your body. But external changes can be even more devastating. A sudden or planned change in employment, marital status from divorce or loss and financial insecurity can thrust you back in time to how you felt when you were twenty. You feel scared and unsure about what the future holds. All of these life changes can wreak havoc on your internal dialogue.
I am the last of my friends to crest fifty. I really have no choice but to accept and embrace it. Everyone has already ‘been there’, ‘done that’ and are far into the ‘get over it’ mentality. It doesn’t stop us from complaining about it when we get together. We jest about midlife and reminisce about days gone by. But for some of my friends, it goes well beyond that.
Some women just get stuck, mired in their thoughts of what once was and how life for them is now. Their internal dialogue keeps telling them that the best is behind them. I have to admit some of them have had major set backs in their lives. It’s difficult to move past what has happened and move forward. While I think in general they are ok entering their second half of life, many are held back from truly experiencing the happiness and contentment they have earned.
I recognize that the solution is not so simple for everyone. If you feel it is all your head, maybe all you need to do is change your mindset.
Change Your Internal Dialogue
- Let go of the past. Accept the life you have today.
- Love yourself for who you are now.
- Surround yourself with people who are positive and encourage you.
- Make lists. Make plans. Set goals.
- Treat yourself as well as you treat your friends.
While I do believe in positive affirmations, actions will go a long way to reinforce them.
What good is it to say “I love myself, I’m beautiful”, if you never go to get your hair done or buy a new kick ass outfit that boosts your confidence?
What good is it to say “I will be financially secure”, and never set up a savings account or retirement fund.
What good is it to say “I don’t need a man”, and then never take yourself out on a date, go out with friends, go on vacation alone or buy yourself something special like jewelery?
If you want to change your internal dialogue, change how you treat yourself. You do deserve better. Demand better from yourself.