Girls May Be Mean But Women Are Bitches

 

You would think that as women grow older, high school behavior would be left behind. But it's not. Women are bitches in the workplace too.

Yeah, i said it. And you know it’s true. Men know it’s true. That’s how and why they can divide and conquer us so easily sometimes. Women can be our best friends and our best advocates in one breath, then takes us down and hurt us worse than any man ever could in the next.

Why is that? Why does it happen? I’ve been the offender more times than I would like to admit. Something takes over and boom, you become this destructive force. But never in a right in your face, I don’t like you kind of way, but a passive aggressive, back door, squeeze you out so no one will like, talk or respect you kind of way.

Women know exactly how to hurt other women. We don’t do it with fists or with names. We do it with feelings. Feeling left out and excluded can cut us to the core. Feeling used and tossed away can leave us questioning our own self-worth. Feeling small and unimportant can make us feel insignificant.

Is there anything worse than feeling invisible in a group you regard as your peers? I doubt it.

I actually have one friend who won’t work for, or with, women. I thought that was crazy when I first heard her say this. But hear her out. She can’t stand the gossip, the power trips and the cliquey nature of working with a group of women. I have to admit, I have worked in a lot of high percentage women, job environments and the scenarios she describes happen all the time.

I’ve seen women go home crying from work because of interaction with other women. I’ve seen one woman’s personal vendetta turn a whole workforce against one person. I’ve seen women put others through an initiation of sorts before they are welcomed into the group. If you think ‘Mean Girls’ happens only in High School you haven’t worked in an all female environment.

You would think that we would grow out of it, but it seems we don’t. I fight the urge to not be exclusionary with new acquaintances. I fight the urge to talk about other people. I fight the urge to use other people for my own personal gain. I am normally a very welcoming, sharing, generous person but when you are thrown into an environment where one woman starts the bitchiness, the avalanche begins.

And I’m not saying that there aren’t situations that call for a bitch. There definitely are. But in casual, friendly circumstances, it does not. Especially on the Internet and social media. If you do it behind a computer screen, not only are you a bitch but a vindictive coward.

Don’t lie and say you don’t do any of those things. If you’re a bitch. own it. Then you can change it. Women are really good at seeing right through you. We know you do it because we know how you think. Don’t try to pull a fast one on us.

The worst part is that we probably won’t confront the bitch about it. It’s not in our nature. And usually we won’t because we are afraid that if we do, we will be labelled the bitch. How crazy is that?

You don’t do any of the things I mentioned? Well, good for you Mother Teresa.

For the rest of us sinners, I propose that we not give in to the territorial, green-eyed monster, the high school mean girl, the competitive cow.  Work together. Raise each other up. We all win through each others’ triumphs. Make everyone feel accepted and important. And if someone is treating you or someone else poorly, call them on it. Don’t help give credence that women are bitches.

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31 thoughts on “Girls May Be Mean But Women Are Bitches

  1. I’ve been lucky in that I had never worked for mean girls…until now. The loyalty shifts are nothing short of hilarious and keep me sane through the workday. It’s like being a bit player in a TV show, where I have a job to do well and still get to watch the drama. That said. I was raised by a bitch so I know how to deal.

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  2. I’m really lucky. I work in a large team (18 people) made up predominantly of women and we all genuinely get on. We go shopping together, on holiday together, days out, to the gym together. I feel really lucky to work with such nice people as it could so easily be the opposite. I think everyone has worked with that one ‘b*tch’ at some point.

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    1. Wow! Lucky you! I have worked in some places where the atmosphere is very friendly and it makes such a big difference for everyone. Never leave that place Sally!

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  3. This is pretty timely for me, because I’ve recently either been around or been the target of vicious, ugly – unnecessary – behavior. I’ve sworn never to run people down like that again. As you said, sometimes you have to assert or defend yourself, but I’m through being a bitch.

    Alicia
    spashionista.com

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  4. This is amazing and should be required reading. I started a new job in December. Small office. Very clique-y. I have stayed completely removed from them and it drives them nuts. I will continue to be my standoffish self at work. I don’t want to be involved. I know how upsetting it can be. I’d rather keep to myself. Fortunately, the type of work I do allows me to stay separate. I am a computer programmer, so I mostly don’t have to interact.

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    1. Hi! I haven’t bumped into you for awhile! Thank you so much for visiting and taking the time to comment! I think you are closer to the mother Teresa side than I am! Lol

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  5. Probably every woman alive has experienced some of what you’re shared, and it does seem that women are more skilled at it than girls. I guess practice makes perfect, even when it comes to being mean. The world has more than enough of that to go around already though, so thanks for the encouragement to us all to practice more at being nice. 🙂 #MidLifeLuv

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  6. Yeah…women suck sometimes. Oftentimes, I swear off them altogether. But then I’ll get an act of kindness or overwhelming support and I forgive all womankind. For a bit. It’s a cycle. I’ve been the recipient of mean girl tactics, mean women bosses, and confusing friends. But, me… just call me Mother Teresa! just kidding! 😉

    Awesome post!!! But, I’m sorry, Elena…I just can’t imagine you being a bitch. Really?! Nahhhh…

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  7. Sometimes I really wonder if I’m transparent but the worst is when I am misunderstood and people think I’m being a bitch when I’m really not. That’s the worst! Gaahhh – can’t win! #MidLifeLuv

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  8. I almost lost 3 friends last year because of us getting way too comfortable saying things that actually were hurting us. Taking ownership and responsibility for my part in the drama wasn’t easy but I did it. I am not sure things will ever be completely the same but things are definitely better.

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  9. This is so timely for me! I’ve been the recent Road Kill from a world class bitch. What I know to be true is that she feels slighted by me not spending as much time with her as she wanted. The result? She’s viciously slandered me to our mutual friends – all behind my back of course. I’m about to give up women friends altogether!
    Kimberly
    http://FiftyJewels.com

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  10. Very well said. I have met hundreds of women like that. In my last job, there were some absolute professionals at it. And guess what, I DID call them on it, all the way to the top with a lawyer and barrister at my side. It felt Soooooooo good to fight back and see their utter shock at what I was doing. They had considered me passive. Big mistake! It took me all my life to stand up for myself and now, at 59, I speak out when my voice is needed and it is really easy since taking on a massive organisation. Thanks for this post – it’s brilliantly written and needs to be said out loud. Women SHOULD support and nature each other.

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  11. Yup, totally agree. I’m like your friend – if I had the option I would only work with men. Women are insecure, competitive and sneaky and the only issues I’ve ever had in the workplace have been with female bosses. I originally thought it was me, but these women have issues with lots of others too…

    Saying that, my closest friends are female. Perhaps women make the best friends and the worst colleagues…

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