No, it is not a riddle or a joke like “How many bloggers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”. It is a serious question. When you first start blogging, it feels like you are on an island by yourself. Massive cruise ships are sailing by. You can hear the partying and laughter but no matter how much you wave, send up smoke signals and gather rocks and strategically place them to spell out SOS, no one notices you.
You spend your days reaching out to people but it seems like everyone has already created their cliques and they are not looking for new members. It can be a huge whack to your ego. You start to double think everything, including whether or not blogging is for you.
I admit it is great working for yourself but it can be very lonely. And honestly, I don’t always give myself the best feedback. You long to find your blogging soul mate or tribe. As human beings, we want to make genuine connections especially in the blogging world. You want to share your journey with someone who understands what you do and why you do it.
First of all, understand that on-line, blogging friendships closely mimic relationships in real life.
- There are those that develop hard and fast because of one commonality but fizzle after you realize you don’t really have any further connections.
- There are those that you make not by conscious choice but rather because you have one other mutual acquaintance.
- There are those that are like old friends. You pop in and out of each other’s careers and lives, never missing a beat. They are always there when you really need them but they don’t need to be made aware of your day-to-day activities.
- There are those that you need to talk to everyday and they are the first ones you think of when something funny happens or you make a stupid mistake and shut your whole blog down.
- Then there are the ones that either ignored you on the way up and now want to be your friend or those that only use you to advance their own interests and drop you like a hot potato when your usefulness is over.
In real life, you may also have friends for different facets of your life, like work friends or those that enjoy the same hobbies as you do. That is pretty much how my blogging tribe is constructed. I don’t have a traditional tribe of multiple people but a multitude of single people. I have different people who support me in different ways and I them.
My driving force and the person who always makes me strive for better is Kimberly of Fifty Jewels. Her Choices Notebook and her Goal Slaying Workshop are pivotal for keeping me staying focused. I would also like to point out that she is also the one that has burst my bubble and saved me from myself more than once by saying “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Everyone needs one of these level-headed kinds of friends.
My go to techy and idea person is Ashley of Blog Genesis. I found her through her 14 Day Blog Income Challenge. Before I registered for that free course she offered, I hadn’t even thought about making money from my blog. It is thanks to Ashley that I now have a somewhat steady income from blogging. We became fast friends and it is truly a lot of fun to have someone to bounce ideas off of and brain storm on up-coming projects. I love how we get each other thinking outside the box.
Then I have my very own cheerleader, Laura of Skinny and Single. And I am not talking about my blog though Laura does spread my stuff around, she is the one that knows what is going on in my personal life too. I can always count on “How are you?” and “Let me beat the crap out of them for you”. She makes me laugh and not take myself too seriously. Always have someone you can share and vent to in your tribe without having to worry about it being judged or shared. It is very therapeutic and cheaper than a psychiatrist.
And last but not least is my friend Suzie from SuzieSpeaks. Suzie was the very first blogging connection I made over 2 years ago. She taught me how to share from within and make my blog my own. We have seen each other through a lot of shit, blogging and personal. And believe me, it is a big pile. Make no mistake. Blogging is a business and many out there will step on you on their way up and spit on you as you pass them on your ascent. We have seen a lot of really good bloggers give up because of it. But here we are. Still blogging, sharing, growing and i dare say, thriving.
So, back to my original question, “How many bloggers do you need to make a tribe?” The answer is just one. You don’t have to be in the same niche or at the same point in your blogging journeys but you must be equal in wanting to support and raise each other’s game. You have to be comfortable enough to tell them when something is bad and gracious enough to accept that kind of criticism. Never must you feel like you are in competition with each other and you should never feel used.
Does it sound like you need to find a unicorn? They are more common than you think. And when you do connect with one, it’s magic.
If you have not found your blogging buddy, please use the comments below to connect with others.
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