Smoking Is Not Disgusting : Weekend Coffee Share

But I must confess, my smelling strangers is a new habit. You see, I have a secret. Exactly one month ago, I quit smoking. Stupid me, I thought I had it licked.

If we were having coffee at a local shoppe or restaurant, I would get us a table by the door. There is something about caffeine that triggers my need for nicotine. And since pretty much all establishments are smoke free now, I have to satisfy my addiction by getting that lovely wiff of smoke that follows smokers as they enter.

But I must confess, my smelling strangers is a new habit. You see, I have a secret. Exactly one month ago, I quit smoking. And honestly, stupid me, I thought I had it licked. I just spent 3 glorious weeks in Florida. And when I was there, most days would go by without me even thinking about smoking. I was so proud of myself. This was going to be easy. I am a super star.

Then I came home and all the triggers and memories of my smoking life came flooding back. Let me set something straight, I did not WANT to quit smoking. I LOVE SMOKING!!! I did it because I know I should quit. As a midlife woman staring down the back end of my lifeline, I am acutely aware of the time I have left and the quality of life I wish to have for as long as possible. And that does not include pulling an oxygen tank around with me.

By far my biggest trigger is driving. I am perfectly fine if someone else is driving me in their own car. I have never been one to light up in a friend’s car if they aren’t a smoker. No problem. But, Lord oh Lord, as soon as I got back from my vacation and got behind the wheel of my own car, the need to surround myself in a beautiful, billowing cloud of smoke was over-whelming.

No, I have not succumbed to my addiction. I am still smoke free but struggling.

Oh, and the dozen donuts are for me. If you want some with your coffee, go get your own.

I hope you enjoyed having coffee with me today. Please visit the hostess of Weekend Coffee Share at Part-Time Monster Blog.

I must confess, my smelling strangers is a new habit. You see, I have a secret. Exactly one month ago, I quit smoking. And honestly, stupid me, I thought I had it licked.
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5 comments

  1. Oh, I feel for you! Next week is my one year anniversary of quitting, and I still get the urge to ask strangers on the street for a smoke some days! It does get easier. Hang in there!

  2. I was a 20 plus year, pack a day smoker when I quit. The hardest part was missing the tactile feel of holding a cigarette between my fingers and between my lips when I was driving my car. So I used a cinnamon stick as a replacement. It was the perfect shape and weight.

  3. I love this Elena, most people who smoke, enjoy it, hello…that’s why they do it! But how courageous of you to share and to admit that you love it, but there are health reasons to quit! When I drive, I just yell and curse at the drivers with the windows safely rolled up 🙂

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