If we were having coffee at a local shoppe or restaurant, I would get us a table by the door. There is something about caffeine that triggers my need for nicotine. And since pretty much all establishments are smoke free now, I have to satisfy my addiction by getting that lovely wiff of smoke that follows smokers as they enter.
But I must confess, my smelling strangers is a new habit. You see, I have a secret. Exactly one month ago, I quit smoking. And honestly, stupid me, I thought I had it licked. I just spent 3 glorious weeks in Florida. And when I was there, most days would go by without me even thinking about smoking. I was so proud of myself. This was going to be easy. I am a super star.
Then I came home and all the triggers and memories of my smoking life came flooding back. Let me set something straight, I did not WANT to quit smoking. I LOVE SMOKING!!! I did it because I know I should quit. As a midlife woman staring down the back end of my lifeline, I am acutely aware of the time I have left and the quality of life I wish to have for as long as possible. And that does not include pulling an oxygen tank around with me.
By far my biggest trigger is driving. I am perfectly fine if someone else is driving me in their own car. I have never been one to light up in a friend’s car if they aren’t a smoker. No problem. But, Lord oh Lord, as soon as I got back from my vacation and got behind the wheel of my own car, the need to surround myself in a beautiful, billowing cloud of smoke was over-whelming.
No, I have not succumbed to my addiction. I am still smoke free but struggling.
Oh, and the dozen donuts are for me. If you want some with your coffee, go get your own.
I hope you enjoyed having coffee with me today. Please visit the hostess of Weekend Coffee Share at Part-Time Monster Blog.
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