What if I don’t want to over-achieve in midlife?

I’m sick of all the pressure.

The pressure to micro manage the next part of my life.

I’ve done that.

From college to jobs to better jobs to marriage to babies.

Then cycle again as I take my kids through those same steps.

I say I’ve earned the right to hit pause.

I say I’m ok with no plans, no goals, no commitments.

I say I like myself as is. 

That’s right. Fat, wrinkled and gray. 

And don’t forget tired.


I’m done with reading articles on Facebook about how to cram more in a day and get more done. 

I’m done with society always pushing the agenda of more, more, more.

I’m done with feeling inadequate because I don’t want  to over-achieve in midlife.

How about you? Are you done?


26 thoughts on “What if I don’t want to over-achieve in midlife?

  1. Just what I needed to hear today. Tomorrow I’m definitely going to lie in bed reading all day, atleast till the 9 year old gets back from school. Even writing can take a break one day.
    We are living in a world of over achievers and immense peer pressure to perform all the time.
    It’s sad that so many of us don’t stop to smell the flowers, anymore!
    Even fitness activities like running and cycling revolve around the number game! Who cycled 100 kms versus who cycled 30 kms!
    I’m 45 and I want to live my life slowly, moment by moment and not get pushed by the pressure to perform.
    Elena I really am thankful to you for writing this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t believe the response this post has received. It was just a rant turned into post and I wanted to delete it almost immediately. But it seems it has resonated for so many and that I am not alone in feeling pressured to over achieve. You take that day of rest. You deserve it!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Amen! After I lost my job last year I took a serious look at where I was and where my family as a whole was and realized, I’m tired! Slowing down and not being super busy is ok! I see and appreciate so much more now. My family and relationships are so much better.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m totally with you on this one, Elena. At 57, and with no children, I haven’t even taken a career break in almost 40 years. Then I found I had to reduce my freelance work to the bare minimum when my mother fell ill earlier this year and needed my full-time care for a few intense months. Her passing has made me review the stuff of my life, and I find that what I want most is to *not* chase the next goal or challenge, or even fulfil whatever my potential is supposed to be… but to simply… BE.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry to hear about your mother. I know exactly how you feel. My mom passed last year. It took me awhile to figure out how to just “be”. I hope you find peace and happiness in this stage of life.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This post helped me take a deep breath, because I am so busy and yes, I do have goals as I prepare to have a book release this fall. But if it is two weeks later than I hope, then I’m going to relax about it and know that everything will be okay. I do love a day or a stretch of time without commitments, though. I had a two week vacation and tried to keep it as commitment free as possible. Two walks per day, reading while sitting on the deck, time to prepare dinner starting in late afternoon, and eating before eight were all luxuries I wish I could do more often!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Some time ago I took a break from Facebook. I got tired of feeling inadequate when reading articles about how to do this better and how to add that to improve appearance, successes, achievement. Now I scan through and ignore articles unless it appears to be something humourous, spiritual, affirming in a positive way! Thanks Elena; yes I am trying to accept that we are human beings vs. human doings! Some doing is necessary; however, so is being! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Like matter, we don’t always have to be in motion and we need to appreciate stillness. Facebook isn’t always good for our souls. Knowing how to navigate it is key to using it to enhance our lives not make us feel inadequate or lacking.thank you so much for your support on my blog. It is much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Omg! I am SO glad that I found this blog and all these fabulous women and their comments.”Protect your peace” That’s my mantra these days and if I wanna “underachieve” the rest of my days,I have most def earned that right.Caring for aging parents,a “conduct disoder” substance abusing 21 yr old daughter,a stubborn husband who refuses to go on blood pressure medication,a cat,a dog AND a part time nanny gig (which I love by the way,after 30 years in high stress healthcare) takes its toll and I have declared the right to just do nothing when the mood hits me.Easy peasy as much as possible

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I cared for my mom for years and she passed last year. I felt awful when I did nothing after that. Now I embrace it as my right. You sound like you have a lot on your plate too. You deserve peace and I wish you more of it!


  7. Hell yeah! I’m 51, have one more yeah of getting up before 7 to organize my 17yr old off to school, then I wanna work part time & some days stay in bed ALL DAY just reading, writing, eating avocado on toast, & watching my cat sleep. Bring it on!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. After breaking a bone in my hand a few days ago, I realize I need to slow down and quit running around like a chicken. If I have to wait another year to publish my book, then so be it. I have meaningful part-time work as a professor and that comes first, not because it helps pay bills, but because I LOVE it!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I can relate. Timely article as I set reset this week. Slowing down the hectic pace of tyrant of the urgent. Doing the best I can and it will have to be good enough. No desire to climb the corporate ladder at 54. I’m okay with that decision .

    Liked by 1 person

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