So as I was reflecting on the miserable statistics of my post from yesterday, 5 Gradual Steps To Change Your Life’s Direction When You Feel Stuck, I had an epiphany: I missed the most important step. The first step. Learning how to foster a belief that you can change your life and that you deserve a life that is free of fear and full of abundance.
If you are one of the readers who skipped over my post or skimmed it at best, and thought, “This isn’t for me, I can’t change my life or circumstances.”, you are right. You can’t change your life if you are plagued by self-doubt or limiting beliefs. It starts with you and your internal dialogue. You will never be able to rise above your negative talk unless you make a conscious effort everyday to combat it.
Do I believe in affirmations? I’m not sure. But what I do know is that I carry with me a strong sense of “I CAN do it.” with me wherever I go. Sometimes it’s really hard to hear that message, tucked away in my sub-conscious. And I have to dig deep to bring it to the surface. Often I use my pride or embarrassment to push through situations. Sometimes I pretend to others I can do it till I can. But once I get over the hump, I have another notch on my belt that affirms my can do belief. Bonus.
So how do you start? How do you begin to believe in yourself? How do you accept that you have the ability to change your life?
By understanding that although you may not have total control of your life’s circumstances, you do have a choice on how you react to them and what you do next.
Have you ever met a person that has been diagnosed with cancer and they are so upbeat it makes you scratch your head?
Do you know someone who was laid off from a really good job and somehow managed to parlay that into a better job or started their own successful business?
Were you ever surprised to find out that someone whom you believe to be confident and gregarious had an awful childhood?
They all have two things in common. Something crappy happened to them beyond their control. And they chose to not let those bad things define them or limit their potential happiness.
I’m not going to pretend it’s easy. It’s not. Learning to not wallow in crapping situations is extremely difficult. And you should allow yourself to have that moment. If you don’t, it will come back to bite you later. Feel it. Then decide to let it go. Set a time limit if you have to.
It’s far too easy these days with social media not to invite others to your pity party. I’m not saying you shouldn’t share with your friends or family what has happened to you. You should seek out support. But I want you to be conscious of your language and purpose of the messages you share. Is it to allow you to be stuck or are you looking for resources/suggestions on how to move past what has transpired.
One thing that really helps me to be confident and believe in myself is surrounding myself with people who help me tackle my self doubt and challenge me when I fall too deep. People who make me look for solutions. Whether it be in my personal life or my business, these people help me to choose my destiny.
If you are stuck, look around you. Is the company you keep allowing you to stay stuck. If they are, seek out those who will lift you up and believe in you, even when you are incapable of doing that for yourself at the moment.